It ain't Boneville, but it'll do.
—Smiley Bone, The Great Cow Race
| Smiley Bone
The Mystery Cow
|Family:|| Fone Bone (cousin)
Phoney Bone (cousin)
Unamed Mother and Father (deceased)
Big Johnson Bone (ancenstor)
|Book Appearance:|| Out From Boneville
Quest for the Spark (mentioned only)
|Game Appearance:|| Bone: Out From Boneville
Bone: The Great Cow Race
|First appearance:||Out From Boneville|
|Last appearance:||Tall Tales|
|Voiced by(in the game):||Doug Boyd|
At some point in time Smiley Bone's parents died and he lived with his cousins Fone Bone and Phoney Bone. Life was hard for the cousins, and Smiley had to steal pies from windowsills because he was the tallest. As an adult he was known as the village idiot, and he often assisted Phoney in his harebrained get-rich schemes. When Phoney Bone was run out of town, he and Fone Bone came with him.
Smiley has taken up several jobs throughout the course of his life that were usually under the direction of either Phoney Bone or Lucius. They include:
- Stealing Pies off windows in Boneville
- Chasing away pigeons to get pieces of bread
- Dishwasher/Bar Tender at Barrelhaven Tavern
- Race Cow as the 'Mystery Cow'
Smiley also ran a brothel in Boneville that earned him much reputation.
Out From Boneville
Two weeks after being run out of Boneville, Smiley, along with his 2 cousins Fone Bone, and Phoney Bone, are lost in an uncharted desert. Smiley finds a map on the ground and makes Phoney pay him a dollar in order to let him see it. Locusts arrive, to which Smiley exclames how cool they are. Phoney and Fone run away from the swarm while Smiley lstands there, letting himself be enveloped by the swarm. After thier seperation, Fone Bone follows Smiley's trail of cigars into The Valley. Near the end of the novel, Phoney runs away from Gran'ma Ben's Farm and finds Smiley working as a bartender at the Barrelhaven Tavern . It can also be assumed that when Phoney gave Smiley the dollar in the desert, he tried to pay with it at the Barrelhaven Tavern, but since they don't use money he wound up working there until he could pay off his debt. At the end of the book, Fone Bone finds Smiley at Barrelhaven and the three are reunited at last.
The Great Cow Race
In the second book, Smiley and Phoney are stirring up trouble. Smiley has been helping Phoney spread a rumor that Gran'ma Ben is too old to win the race and that there is a cow whose odds of winning are 4 to 1, unlike Gran'ma Ben's "100 to 1". Fone Bone soon realizes what Phoney is up to, but doesn't do much to stop him as he was more focused on impressing Thorn at the time. Meanwhile, Smiley poses as the Mystery Cow, wearing a poorly constructed cow suit and creating a racket with tools in an old shed, making the villagers believe that the Mystery Cow is extremely dangerous. However, Smiley accidentally falls into a ravine full of Rat Creatures during the race, who then begin to chase him and Fone Bone, who joins soon after being chased by the Two Rat Creatures. The Bone Chase and the Great Cow Race ultimately collide, and Gran'ma Ben wins. Even though Phoney gained a fair amount, he is unable to pay off the debt he got into when Lucius bet his entire bar on Gran'ma Ben to win. To pay this off, they will do chores on Gran'ma Ben's farm and in Lucius's bar until they say so. Later, while reshingling the roof, Smiley annoys Lucius and accidentally causes him to fall off the roof. He then lights a cigar, and says "It ain't Boneville, but it'll do."
Eyes of the Storm
Smiley heads off with Lucius and Phoney to Barrelhaven to begin paying off their debts to him but along the way, they are attacked by a pack of Rat Creatures, who want "The One Who Bears The Star" (Phoney). Smiley is able to get Lucius and the others to escape by making the cows go out of control, eventually diving off a cliff into a river, and it begins to rain. Smiley rides on his banjo to the bar pretending it's a horse, as well as annoying the heck out of Lucius and Phoney along the way.
When they finally make it to Barrelhaven, Smiley and Phoney are nearly attacked by the furious villagers, but Lucius reminds them that they owe him and are not to be harmed, and begins his bet with Phoney which is to see who can sell the most on thier "half" of the tavern. Phoney and Smiley instantly begin losing the bet. Smiley soon starts giving beer to everyone with for free, undermining Phoney's attempts to get customers. Tensions rise and the townsfolk nearly attack them, but when Smiley mentions The Great Red Dragon, they stop. Phoney instantly manipulates their fear to get astonishing success, claiming to be a "Dragonslayer", foreshadowing the events of the fourth book.
Smiley continues to help Phoney Bone on his rise to power, sharing Phoney Bone's luxuries. When Fone Bone finds a rat creature cub in the barn, Smiley loves it immediately. He agrees to send the cub back to the Eastern Mountains, but misunderstands Fone Bone as he goes all the way to the Eastern Mountains instead of just dropping the cub off outside the wall resulting in Smiley, Fone and Bartleby being lost on the way there.
Rock Jaw: Master of the Eastern Border
Smiley and Fone Bone are on their way to return Bartleby to the Eastern Mountains and as they are near to the mountains they get attacked by The Two Rat Creatures. Smiley tries reading Moby Dick to bore them to sleep, but it seems to have no effect on them; however, when Fone Bone reads it, they fall asleep and he and Smiley run up the mountains, leaving Bartleby. The rats catch up to the Bones, preparing to hurt them, but Bartleby jumps on one rat creature's head; when Bartleby gets kicked away, Smiley furiously throws a boulder on his head, and he and Fone Bone start throwing rocks and chase the rats away. They eventually encounter Roque Ja the giant cat who considers himself the ruler of the Eastern Mountains. Roque eventually attacks them resulting in a game of cat and mouse (no pun intended) ultimatly resulting in the escape of the three.
Old Man's Cave
Smiley and Fone Bone attempt to get back to Barrelhaven but get lost on the way. They eventually get surrounded by Rat Creatures, but Thorn rescues them. They go back to Gran'ma Ben's farm. While there Smiley and Fone Bone attempt to convice Thorn to go back to Old Man's Cave. Thorn was originally going to leave them at the farm, but agrees to take them to Old Man's Cave. On the way, they run into Phoney Bone, who is naked and on the run. Rock Jaw then sneaks up on them, capturing Phoney Bone and Thorn, and knocking out Fone Bone. Smiley attempts to wake up Fone Bone and is sucessful. He and Fone Bone run to the mountains, where the ceremony is taking place. Smiley watches the entire ceremony, and is shocked when Briar reveals Phoney's campaign balloon. but when Grandma Ben unexpectantly interferes with the ceremony, the Locust is partially released and a giant earthquake occurs. Smiley is then seen running down to Thorn, who has woken up.
Smiley, Fone Bone, Phoney, Grandma Ben and Thorn escape into the tunnels. Fone Bone, Phoney, and Thorn pass into the Dreaming and are affected in various ways, however Smiley is unaffected. Smiley later shows shock when he sees that Ghost Circles have destroyed the Valley. As the Bones and the Harvestars cross the perilous landscape, Smiley shows exasperation at Fone Bone's and Phoney's bickering. When the group comes to a source of clean water, Smiley is shown taking a bath. He feels awkward about Fone Bone seeing him without his vest on, despite the vest not covering much to begin with.
When the group is attacked by Briar and the Rat Creatures, Smiley, Phoney, and Grandma Ben are separated from Fone Bone and Thorn. They are surrounded by a horde of Rat Creatures, but then Smiley sees Bartleby. Bartleby defects from the Rat Creatures and he and Smiley save Fone Bone and Thorn from Briar. He, Bartleby, and the rest of the group, run from the Rat Creatures until the Rat Creatures step in the Ghost Circles. Smiley tells Grandma Ben that Bartleby won't hurt them, but Grandma Ben decides to stay behind him just in case.
Later on in their journey, Smiley Bone succumbs to hunger, because he gave his rations to Bartleby. Fone Bone and Thorn go into a ghost circle to find food. They succeed and Smiley Bone recovers. When the group goes into Tanen Gard, Smiley Bone is shown being afraid. When they cross Tanen Gard, Smiley Bone tells Phoney how he remembers that he had to steal pies in their childhood and being in Tanen Gard gave him the same feeling like they shoudn't be there. When Fone Bone almost falls into the Bottomless Pit, Smiley is distressed and attempts to rescue Fone Bone, and is surprised when Thorn overcomes her weakness and rescues him. Later at the Prayer Stones, Phoney tells Smiley that the streets are paved with gold at Atheia, and Smiley calls him a funny egg. Phoney says that Smiley is the funny egg, so Smiley asks Bartleby what he is, and Bartleby says he is "Aces."
Smiley and Phoney find a haycart on the side of the road outside Atheia and they take it and hide Bartleby in it. Grandma Ben refuses to let them take Bartleby in, but Smiley convinces her to allow it. Smiley later accompanies his cousins and Grandma Ben to the Rooftop Cafe. He turns up his nose at the food provided. When Thorn goes in a trance-like state, Smiley is shown trying to push her away from the Ghost Circle with the others. Smiley later stays in the stables, eating blank sandwiches with Bartleby and making gold coins for Phoney at his request.
Later, Phoney comes to Smiley, saying he knows where the gold is and asking Smiley to help him. Before Phoney and Smiley can break into the well, they are caught by the Vedu and are arrested. However, the Vedu come under attack by a swarm of bees who terrorize the area, yet Phoney and Smiley were still detained and thrown in the Atheia Dungeon.
Crown of Horns
Smiley and Phoney Bone are imprisoned in a jail cell but realizes Fone Bone and Thorn are in the next cell over when Fone Bone yells. He starts talking to Fone Bone but moves over so Phoney can talk. When Taneal and her brother show up they get broken out of their cell and Smiley starts attacking Thorn's and Fone Bone's cell bars with a hammer. Thorn is told that Gran'ma Ben was overwhelmed by the enemy and breaks free. The Bones and Thorn head for the gate but find out there are ghost circles around the city.
Later, when Phoney goes into the well to get the treasure, Smiley convinces Phoney to let him bring Bartleby in the haycart. When he comes back, he pulls Phoney up and hides the treasure, but it gets overturned by the man who claims it's his haycart. Bartleby is found out and he runs up a ladder that Phoney has found. Later, when Smiley and Phoney are fighting in the war, Smiley captures a couple of rat creatures and finds out who they are when they say "Please don't hurt us! It's not our fault we're monsters! We were born this way!" It's the two stupid rat creatures.
Later, the teacher catches Smiley making quiche for the two stupid rat creatures, who are now prisoners of war, and Smiley tells his plan, which is to feed the rats plenty of quiche and let them "escape" on purpose, so the rats will tell the others that even the prisoners have plenty to eat, and Atheia can outlast a siege, so they'll give up. The teacher goes with the plan and Smiley starts to bring the rats the quiche. They eventually give in to wanting to eat it, because they are starving. But the news is brought that Gran'am Ben is missing, so Smiley leaves the quiche just out of the reach of the rats and leaves.
Later, Phoney Bone brings Smiley and the Veni Yan warriors to Sinner's Rock to help Grandma Ben, but by the time they arrive, the war is over.
Later, at Thorn's coronation as queen of the valley, Smiley is happy that Thorn is queen, but when Phoney keeps asking Fone Bone if he will stay or go back to Boneville, Smiley scolded Phoney and said that Fone Bone had the whole trip to Barrelhaven to think about it. In the spring, at the edge of the desert, Smiley points out to Phoney that the treasure has been replaced with enough bread thingies to last the entire trip home. Phoney says he doesn't like them, and Smiley says that's all they have. Phoney tells Smiley to hand him one, and Smiley wants a gold coin in return. Fone Bone says, "Oh, give him a gold coin, Phoney. We're out in the middle of the desert."
In Boneville Smiley and three Bone scouts tell stories around a camp fire with Bartleby.
Quest for the Spark
Smiley and his cousins do not appear in this book but they are mentioned.
AppearanceSmiley is much larger than his cousins and has a more promient nose. He usually wears nothing but a small blue top hat with a yellow stripe and a red vest with a black lining. He usually carries around a one-stringed bango.
While sneaking into Atheia, Smiley wore a rough orange shirt with a blue acorn-like cap.
Smiley is incredibly laid-back, cheerful, kind, outgoing, carefree and somewhat goofy, claiming in Out From Boneville that having no responsibilities makes him free as a bird. He is often seen as a happy-go-lucky kind of person, especially throughout Vernal Equinox, making him very sociable and easy to get along with, though this can get to the point where he ends up coming off as scatterbrained or dim-witted to others, particularly Gran'ma Ben, Lucius Down, and Phoney Bone. Smiley looks out for his cousins and cares immensely for them, and will fall into a state of distress when seeing either of them, especially Fone Bone, in trouble.
Beneath his happy-go-lucky exterior, Smiley is also more intelligent than he lets on. In Crown of Horns, he came up with the idea of baking a quiche to convince the enemy that the siege could be outlasted.
Smiley and Fone Bone get along much better than Fone Bone and Phoney Bone do. He and Fone Bone are joyous when they reunite at the end of "Out From Boneville". Fone Bone is more tolerant of Smiley Bone's antics that Phoney is, but shows indigantion when Smiley wants him to read Moby Dick so Smiley can fall asleep, and also when Smiley makes fun of his love poems to Thorn. He cares very much for Fone Bone and shows distress when Fone Bone is in trouble.
Smiley is often used by Phoney Bone to succeed in his moneymaking schemes, however sometimes what Phoney is doing tugs on Smiley's conscience and Smiley Bone tells Phoney when it happens. Smiley Bone is not annoyed by Phoney's behavior, and knows that deep down inside, Phoney deeply cares for him and Fone Bone. However, Phoney is greatly annoyed by Smiley, and the two constantly bicker.
Though they do not interact much in the series, Smiley and Thorn have a cordial relationship. Smiley doesn't complain when Thorn asks him to do the chores, and he didn't want Thorn to go to the Hooded One alone.
Smiley gets along well with Rose, however his antics sometimes get on her nerves.
Bartleby is Smiley's best friend and the two share a deep bond. Smiley was upset when Bartleby left to rejoin the Rat Creatures, and was very happy when Bartleby rejoined them. When the villagers of Atheia attempt to kill Bartleby, Smiley fiercely protects him, going so far as to attack Vedu officials. When the Bones went back to Boneville, Bartleby accompanied them as he did not really have a life without Smiley.
Smiley often annoys Lucius with his antics, however not as much as Phoney does. When Lucius is killed, Smiley is shown mourning at his burial.
Like Lucius, Smiley's antics annoy the villagers, but not as much as Phoney's does. When Phoney's Cow Race scheme is exposed, the villagers didn't throw eggs at Smiley, even though he participated in the plan.
The Two Stupid Rat Creatures
Smiley Bone has an uneasy relationship with these Rat Creatures, as he knows that they would like to eat him. However, he knows that these Rat Creatures are not really malicious, just stupid, and doesn't like to harm them.
Smiley likes the orphans and will protect them. He likes to tease Fone Bone in front of them, like when he asked Fone Bone to read one of his love poems. However, the groundhog is the one he finds himself the most irked by.
With the exception of Bartleby and the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, Smiley fears Rat Creatures. However, he will stand up to them if his friends are threatened.
Smiley Bone and Roque Ja, who he and Fone Bone dub "Rock Jaw," do not get along well, due to Rock Jaw threatening him and Fone Bone on their first and second encounters, and due to him capturing Phoney Bone and Thorn in their third encounter. When Thorn senses Rock Jaw's presence in Crown of Horns, Smiley is shocked and wonders what Rock Jaw could be up to.
Smiley Bone is afraid of Kingdok, knowing Kingdok is much more powerful than him and his cousins.
Smiley also fears the Hooded One, but will attack her if she threatens his friends, as seen in Ghost Circles.
- Plays a one stringed banjo.
- He doesn't like bread crusts but he really loves toast.
- Is willing to do anything for Phoney and that includes dressing up in a cow suit.
- He gets very embarassed when seen without his vest, despite the fact that it really doesn't cover anything up...
- He likes to read comic books
- He was the fastest kid in his Kindergarten class
- His favourite food are those hard, little stuffed bread thingies
- Smiley has appeared in the following non-Bone comics: The normalman/Megaton Man Special, Flying Colors 10th Anniversary Special.